Today I asked one of my good friends if she ever thinks out possible conversations in her head. By this I mean, do you plan out what you would say if you have a particular conversation with someone? She said that yes she does. Then I asked if she ever actually says out load what she might or would like to say if there was an real conversation. Again, she said that she does this. I told her that I do too. She said it doesn't make me crazy.
The reason I brought this up with her and here in my blog is because last night I was having one of these "conversations." I was actually saying some things that I would like to say to this friend (I mentioned it in the previous post). I still haven't had a chance to discuss things with her. I don't really want to do it to bring up the past; I just feel like I need a sense of "closer" on the whole issue.
Last night was a hard night for me; at least harder that it has been lately. It was about 10:30 or so and I was thinking about what I would say to my friend and I just started crying. Part of it was brought on by something I read on Facebook. It's another one of those times when I know logically that I'm probably reading too much into things; while emotionally I feel hurt and jealous/envious. I have a feeling that I was feeling sort of depressed last night because there was a slight lapse in my anti-depressant. I had taken it two nights ago around 10:00 pm and last night I hadn't taken it yet when I had this short crying episode. Can not taking it exactly 24 hours apart really have that much of a difference on my mood? When I was thinking about this situation this morning, I didn't feel so depressed. Sure, I felt slighty bothered, but I didn't feel like crying. So I'm thinking my crying last night was probably the result of not taking my medicine right on time.
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1 comment:
One thing I like about blogging is that human experiences are so similar all over the globe. I've had experiences like yours, from the beginning to the end of your sharing above, and I don't think it's weird. Hm, it can be hormonal, it can be that we're sensitive, it can be that we're really hurt and are dealing with unresolved issues of our past, it can be anything, but we're not, like mad or anything. You're not alone in your struggle in life and in the Christian walk. Trusting and growing in the Lord will make life a lot easier though. Accept yourself for God accepts you. :)
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