Wednesday, November 24, 2010

pity party

The past couple of weeks have been difficult for me.  Two weeks ago something happened school related that really made me feel defeated.  I'm not going to go into it a lot on here, but let's just say that it didn't leave me with a lot of self confidence in my abilities as a teacher.  I really felt like someone had lost their confidence in my ability to do my job.

Tonight has also been difficult, because I've been thinking of that fact that I don't get to see any of my family for thanksgiving.  Holidays can be a difficult time for me because my family is so far away.  I know that I have been blessed with so much and that I get to see my family at Christmas, but it's hard to remember that when I see peoples' statuses/comments on Facebook about seeing family.  Thankfully I was invited somewhere for Thanksgiving.  It would have been much, much harder had I not been invited anywhere (like I was my first Easter here).

Tonight as I was watching a "Biggest Loser" special, I kept telling myself that I need start working out again!  I cannot let myself keep going down this road.  I've gained weight since the school year started and I need to reverse that.  I guess you could say that I was having a "pity party" for myself.  I was thinking about all the things I'm struggling with-my weight, never having been kissed or in a relationship, being away from family, still being lonely, school stuff, needing a new car (but not being able to afford one), low self-esteem.  

Thankfully I have a counseling appointment on Monday.  I guess I'll have a lot to tell her.

I do know that I have SO MUCH to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!!!  God has blessed me with so many wonderful things!!!  I just need to remember that!!!!!!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!!

God bless!!!!

In Christ,