Wednesday, November 24, 2010

pity party

The past couple of weeks have been difficult for me.  Two weeks ago something happened school related that really made me feel defeated.  I'm not going to go into it a lot on here, but let's just say that it didn't leave me with a lot of self confidence in my abilities as a teacher.  I really felt like someone had lost their confidence in my ability to do my job.

Tonight has also been difficult, because I've been thinking of that fact that I don't get to see any of my family for thanksgiving.  Holidays can be a difficult time for me because my family is so far away.  I know that I have been blessed with so much and that I get to see my family at Christmas, but it's hard to remember that when I see peoples' statuses/comments on Facebook about seeing family.  Thankfully I was invited somewhere for Thanksgiving.  It would have been much, much harder had I not been invited anywhere (like I was my first Easter here).

Tonight as I was watching a "Biggest Loser" special, I kept telling myself that I need start working out again!  I cannot let myself keep going down this road.  I've gained weight since the school year started and I need to reverse that.  I guess you could say that I was having a "pity party" for myself.  I was thinking about all the things I'm struggling with-my weight, never having been kissed or in a relationship, being away from family, still being lonely, school stuff, needing a new car (but not being able to afford one), low self-esteem.  

Thankfully I have a counseling appointment on Monday.  I guess I'll have a lot to tell her.

I do know that I have SO MUCH to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!!!  God has blessed me with so many wonderful things!!!  I just need to remember that!!!!!!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!!

God bless!!!!

In Christ,


MTJ said...

Hello my friend,

It's been a while since my last visit (March). This intro reads like a confessional. :)

I do hope your Thanksgiving was enjoyable. Please stay positive and continue looking to Christ who has blessed you so much. You have a tremendous gift to teach; preparing young minds for a brighter future. There is absolutely no profession that has a greater day-to-day imapact on the lives of children.

My wife uses Facebook to stay in touch with family and friends. She seems happy with this medium of communication. We have family in Chicago, Texas, Detroit and California so it's convenient for them to chat, gripe, joke and most of all, share lives.

After my surgery, I began physical therapy and as I began to regain strength, I expanded into an exercise regimen. This helped me lose weight but I injured myself and for the past two months I haven't exercised. I think it's easy to get down and discouraged because of doing something positive and affirming only to have it interrupted (for whatever reason).

One of the things I've had to remind myself is that I can't focus on setbacks or weight gain. What I try to remind myself is that I'm working on a goal and it doesn't matter when I reach my goal; I'm not under a time constraint.

Don't get upset with yourself and try not to take the things others say as something you personally identify with; learn to let it go. Remember what Christ said on the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." -- So many times I've been guilty of saying something as if I'm an authority on the subject, when the truth is, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Not being single or a woman limits my ability to identify with some of your struggles, but I do understand what it is to struggle. Please know that I and others who read your words will remember you in our prayers.

I find encouragement in Romans 8:18, which says, "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later."

Blessings and peace.


Regina said...

I think that when anyone looks at their life - it's pretty easy to come up with a list of everything that is wrong / less than we want.

I also think that if we search for the hidden blessings we can find that they are everywhere - if it's a great song on the radio, a flower blooming, or a thought of kindness from a stranger.

Hope things are going better and that you find the strength to pull back the curtains and find the sunshine! It's there.

undeniablyjeff said...

Hey there. I found your blog after doing a search (and not an easy one) for Christians blogging. I'm interested in how your counseling has been going, as I'll probably be doing the same really soon.

How are you doing? Stop by my blog and say hello!



dwellrichly said...

Hi there,

I just found your blog while I was researching a post for a blog that my sister and I have just started.

Stop by sometime and say hello!

I hope that your new year is off to a blessed start!

single lutheran said...

I just wrote another entry. I know it has been awhile! Thank you for all your comments and encouragement! Even though you wrote these things a while ago, they still mean a great deal to me!! Thanks again!

P.S.-I plan on writing more again now!